I have been lacking in armor lately. Frankly, I have just been "forgetting" or "too busy" and it honestly has taken its toll on me. I noticed something was missing in the beginning of June. I had grown irritable, crabby, short-tempered, lacking in love and just down right miserable. My family has certainly gotten the brunt of my attitude and it really STINKS when you start to notice that something needs to change...and that "something" is you.
When I went back to work part-time in January I slowly started missing more Sunday and Wednesdays at church due to being "too busy" and lacking sleep and down time. I also kept forgetting or was too tired to wake up early and get some devotional, quiet time with God. When I looked in my journal a few weeks ago, I noticed that I hadn't even written in it since MARCH. Which means that I hadn't had a devotional time of my own, in my bible since then. Whoa. From January- March my entries were hit and miss... probably 30 entries at the most.
So if the Word is God...and I hadn't been opening my bible to actually get in the word, my armor was slowly falling off. I had grown weak, and vulnerable to the enemy. Without God's word, and God himself to lead me, I had no plan of attack... not much to protect me either. I had basically stripped myself down and left myself open to the lies, to the anger, and unfortunately a lack of love. Don't get me wrong, I still loved my family, with all my heart actually, I just wasn't showing them. I wasn't taking care of my people the way that they should be. I was shouting more at my kids. I didn't care much about keeping my home. I grew irritable with my husband. I was fighting a war with the enemy and too weak to even notice that these things were happening.
After I finally realized what was going on, I knew that I NEED to fight back. I need to keep fighting the good fight. I need to stand up to Satan and let him know that he isn't welcome here. I need to open my heart up and surrender my time, my energy, and maybe even a bit of sleep to let God in. I need to be here for my family, fully present. I need to just open my bible and fold my hands in prayer, no matter what it takes. That is the only way I will be able to wear the armor of God and fight for this crazy, beautiful, precious and forsaken life that I have been graced with. Because without it, life is honestly miserable.
God Bless friends, love you