Why would I be embarrassed?? I don't know! But when you have a shopping cart full of groceries and Easter basket goodies and your infant is screaming so loud it makes your head hurt while your walking up to the checkout and everybody just stares at you, not even one little smile, just staring, it makes you want to tell them all "sorry". Even though I'm not doing anything wrong...and neither is my baby. I still feel the urge to apologize.
You, my friend, you were different. We had such a brief moment of eye contact, but you were able to see all the anxiety and exhaustion. I heard you say tell the cashier that you would leave your cart right by the register and noticed that you still had almost an entire cart full of things and only about three or four bags of merchandise you paid for. I wondered what had happened but tried to not pay attention because it was none of my business and...screaming infant. As I shushed and bounced and rubbed my precious, tired, and loud baby's back, you looked me straight in the eyes and told me that you, precious woman that you are, were going to finish your transaction later and help me get my stuff on the belt... "wow" I thought!
Not only were you being kind enough to let me hurry up and get my stuff paid for, but you helped unload my shopping cart and while I still bounced and calmed my baby girl, you continued by loading all my bags back into my cart.
My mind was racing, trying to think of ways to thank you. I kept thinking that I could give you some cash...but that seemed so shallow compared to how made my heart feel! And since I was in the Target checkout line, I didn't have many options!
I mustered up a couple "thank you's" as you unloaded and loaded my cart, and told me how you used to have to take multiple children grocery shopping and knew the feeling, and that you were thankful that they were old enough now to stay home and so you get to shop on your own. I knew you really did understand how thankful I was, and I knew that a little extra cash would mean nothing to you.
As I walked away, and you got back in line, behind the ladies that were already forming a line behind me, I looked back at you one last time to say "thanks" and hopefully convey to you through my eyes how truly, truly thankful I was.
I promise I'll pay it forward. I don't know when or how, because I want to be the same blessing to somebody else that you were to me. Completely overwhelmed, and filling with anxiety and unsuspecting.. That's the blessing I want to be. I want to truly help in time of need, to somebody completely unsuspecting.
Again, thank you. And my God bless you sweet lady.